The Worst Planet on the Rim
There's enough garbage for everybody
As my very first post to Substack, I thought I’d try to run with one of the excellent writing prompts provided by Throne of Salt in honor of Mothership Month!
For those unaware, this is a month-long pep rally and crowdfunding collaboration between Tuesday Knight Games and the wider Mothership 3rd Party Publishing (3PP) community which kicked off on November 12th!
Altieri IV, Gem of the Mol Constellation
By Ellis Maribole, GandaNews Contributor
At a glance, you’d be right to assume Altieri’s Demise is just some innocuous brown smudge at the far flung corner of the Tamlan system. It may not offer much in the way of valuable gas or mineral deposits, and we certainly can’t compete with tourist attractions like the pearlescent beaches of Imar-VII or the rough-and-tumble old Earth allure of riding across the golden plains of Setti Prime. But there’s charms and opportunity a-plenty if you know where to look.
Take the Downing Markets in my hometown of Gorga City, nearly 37 stories tall it stands like a monolithic patchwork of commerce nestled in the ever bustling Sub-District 22A9. Making use of verticality is an urban necessity, and the multitude of ingeniously orchestrated rope nets, ladders and powered lifts allow patrons to traverse it’s many levels with ease. Dirt-cheap merchant licenses and non-existent regulatory measures means vendors get to pass the savings on to you!
Sure, there may have been one or two instances where a tin of Waddle Eggs I bought at Sal’s Sumptuous Salvation turned out to be improperly sealed, hatched and skittered to the four corners of my unit upon inspection. And there was that one time the ParaMed Drones had to pay me a visit after consuming a packet of Petri-Meat that had a tangle of nano filaments sewn into that good lab-grown stuff. [[**WIDE BAND INJECTION DISCLAIMER #22817: Mondo Foods Ltd is not liable for end-user error in consuming our products. The burden of any and all resultant injury, illness, death or dismemberment, subsequent medical debt, or garnering of wages will be the sole responsibility of our loyal customers.**]] But if you’ve got the (De)miser spirit like me, these small annoyances are well worth the siren call of sniffing out that next deal. Free market baby!
ParaMed Drone: Cylindrical metallic canister held aloft by micro thrusters, articulating arms with an assortment of blades, tubes and syringes unfold from the chipped yellow and black enamel painted surface sporting the corporate color scheme of WeiPharma Medical. [C:10 Scalpel 1d10 DMG I:40 W:1(10)]
Stim Dart: Works as a long-range Stimpack, double all rolled results. Do not apply the death save rule, add 50kcr debt to the recipient instead.
But Ellis, what kind of employment prospects can I expect to find on Altieri’s Demise you may ask? No need to worry dear reader, we have two (you heard right, two) industries to choose from that underpin our enduring economy!
First we have the Ornott-Wells Reclamation & Processing Complex, spanning nearly 3.7M square miles it stands as the third largest waste management facility in the sector. The reassuring hum of industry can be heard in the skies above the surrounding cities as waste barges break atmosphere to dump their payloads before pulling a turn-and-burn. I’m not sure I could get any rest without the reliable groan of metal hulls and burst of straining thrusters lulling me to sleep each night.
You’ll never have think about learning new skills in order to secure work since O-Well Corp is always in need of fresh Pickers. Roving the mountains of debris, you’ll get to take in the views through the visor of your very own refurbished Company hazard suit (financing starts at just 18% interest!) as you rummage for any foreign objects not meant to end up there, sentient or otherwise. As a valued Picker, you’ll ensure the removal of any valuable or dangerous detritus ahead of the gaping maw of an O-Well proprietary mobile grinder platform as it ceaselessly works it’s way through the vast waste fields. Just make sure to keep up with the pace and remember to report any Heaper sightings during shifts to your crew foreman.
Heaper: Hidden growths press on the inside of and protrude out from it’s tattered and threadbare hazard suit, making for an unnervingly human silhouette. Sunken eyes, entirely feral, dangerous in groups. [C:25 Scrap Spear 2d10 DMG I:20 W:2(12)]
Guttural Howl: Calls 1d5 nearby Heapers who arrive in 1d10 rounds.
If the outdoors isn’t your thing, we’ve got you covered over at Everett Rehabilitation & Corrections where great minds have gamified their work-release program to make incarceration fun again! As a key member of the ERC Playforcement Handler Team, you’ll help guide debtors, deviants, and the criminally inclined of society through a series of competitive and productive activities. By partnering with the Communications and Broadcasting arm of Everett, these programs are beamed to colonists across the system and have been specially designed not just to entertain, but to help reinforce our shared company values and culture.
Take the Salvage Fun Run, one of our most highly rated programs (gathered through mandatory feedback forms) currently airing it’s 17th consecutive season; five teams of three are fitted with head mounted video feeds, given specific component pull-lists, and set loose on decommissioned space stations and derelict craft! Contestants are encouraged to get creative when interacting with their teammates and rivals, since whoever manages to successfully retrieve the most items on the list earn points towards reducing their sentence. These are evenly distributed amongst winning teams so those with a flair for the dramatic, or fortunate sole survivors are rewarded with multiplicative gains for their efforts and showmanship.
1d3 Salvage Fun Run Contestants: Brightly colored, heavily patched Vacsuit emblazoned with the Everett Holdings logo. Frightened, unpredictable. [C:30 Found Weapon XdX I:35 AP:3 W:3(8)]
Found Weapon: Roll 1d5 to determine what weapon each team member is carrying
1. Vibechete / 2. Boarding Axe / 3. Hand Welder / 4. Crowbar / 5. Unarmed
Tired of toiling away in the mines of some backwater asteroid? That last round trip cargo haul got you down with a case of compound cryo-sickness? No matter your plight, Altieri’s Demise has something for everyone. There’s lots to discover and even more to keep you busy. At the Demise we’ll make sure you’re always a contributing member of society, so start saving for that jump-liner ticket today!
[[**COMPULSORY NOTICE #22547: This comms blast was paid for by Altieri IV Tourism & Relocation Bureau. Approved by O-Well Corp, Everett Holdings, and the Tamlan System Governmental Council of Mercantile Affairs**]]